Struggles

There are several things that we all struggle with on a daily basis, me included. Probably my biggest struggle most of my life has been my weight. I have never been majorly over weight, however, I have never been 'small'. There are two sides that I fight with in my mind over and over. I never pick a side and I never seem to be happy. 

My first and biggest problem is that, I LOVE FOOD! Seriously...all kinds, the good, the bad and the ugly. I do enjoy my meals and when I have a bad experience, it affects my day. I am usually looking forward to the next meal before I even finish the one I'm eating! (I've gotten better on this one.) This being said, I do enjoy healthy food too. It really doesn't matter. Food = Good! 

Second problem - I have little-to-no will power. I'm so bad that when there are baked goods around or chocolate laying around the house (or work), I MUST have a bite/piece/slice nearly every time I walk by the item. Not good, especially when your kitchen is in the center of your house.

So, Erica likes to eat. Check! That being said, I honestly don't eat all day, but my portions and my food choices may not be the best. I do eat healthy, but I do enjoy a bowl of ice cream every now and again, or chips or whatever...etc. I drink a lot of water regularly and tend to stay away from any other type of drink minus coffee. 

This is where my true struggle of the mind is. WHO CARES? Seriously?! Who? Fat or skinny, I know full well that I am a daughter of the King, and He loves me and finds me beautiful (inside and out) and loves me the way I am. I have a loving husband, who does not complain or tell me that I am fat or I need to work out...smart man! :) So really, who am I trying to please? Myself? Society? Friends? We're all gonna die anyway, why not eat what we want and be happy? (I'm serious here)

The other side of this struggle is that I know all of the health benefits to eating healthy and exercising on a regular basis. Being thinner is generally healthier for all of your organs that keep ya movin' and I would probably have a better self image and feel better about myself. So let's eat healthier and live longer..maybe. 

Exercising is not in my daily routine. I try and there are weeks that I do well and 'work out' 2-3 times that week but it is not every week. I lack motivation, drive and accountability. Though I do have this struggle in my head, I know what I need to do - the point and problem is actually doing it. 

My hope with this entry is that getting it out will help me to process things and, or get my rear in gear - literally. Sometimes it's good to get things out and exposed. So there it is.